Thirty nine minutes past eleven

Thirty nine minutes past eleven....
I sit and wait, reflecting on those thoughts which eat me inside.
How much time has passed since school, where are my friends, what happened to them?

Oh how I recall, the fateful day of 12th Feb, Sunday which Sonam called me and I casually asked about Bhartesh... Then she said, mocking me, "You don't know, he's dead?" Something died inside me that day, and I just broke down. Couldn't let Sonam hear me crying.

He couldn't be dead. He wasn't even seventeen. We studied chemistry together. Had the most amazing times. Sneaked into the guy's section of the dispensary to meet him at 7 am...

He commited suicide, she said. Nobody knows why. Nobody knew when. Sometime in July...

Maybe he took the coward's way out but then again - who are we to judge people?

Nine days before my 12th std. board exams, I'm mourning the death of a friend - long gone...
Nine days before my 12th std. exams, I'm wondering whether it would have been different...
Nine days before my 12th std. exams, I'm pondering the what if's and why's... And searching for a reason...

And nine days later, I'm writing one of the most relevant exams of my life, as though I'm dead, fearless, emotionless...

As though the exams never mattered...
As though the exams never mattered...
As though the exams never mattered...

[Let the dead, rest in peace... Goodbye my friend. Maybe this brings peace to my troubled soul... ]
[He's the one with the cap. I'm at the back, last row.]